WARNING: This post is tongue-in-cheek.
You’re the owner of a startup. It’s your company and you want everything done your way. After all, you’re the one who came up with the great product that will change the world. You are certain you know how to make it successful, and your workers don’t.
They should do what you tell them to do, and not goof off. After all, time is money. Here are five reasons to keep your workers near and under control despite silly requests to work from home.
1 – You won’t be able to micromanage them
This is probably the main reason. If your workers are home, you can’t watch them to make sure they are not slacking off. You can’t afford the salary you pay them. They have to be run at 100% load so as not to waste your money. What’s good for a computer is good for a worker.
You have to make sure they do things your way. If your workers decide to use their own initiative, or God forbid, imagination the project will go off the rails. Everyone knows a manager’s job is to keep people on track.
You can’t do your job if they are home.
2 – You won’t be able to have real meetings
Meetings are necessary. Meetings are good. You need face-to-face meetings. You can’t have remote meetings because your Windows XP system at home doesn’t have a good webcam, and your DSL connection keeps disconnecting. That’s why you need to have bodies in a conference room.
Weekly meetings are good. You have to keep people synchronized and on-message. You can also talk with your upper management about things that bore the rest of the workers so that they will feel more motivated when they leave.
Everyone knows you can’t have a cheerleading event without real bodies.
3 – You won’t be able to see who is goofing off
You can’t trust people. That’s just normal. Workers are going to goof off and take days off. Everyone knows that. Sure, they may get all their work done, but you can always make up more. You can’t do that if they aren’t in the office. If they work from home, you can’t know who is working hard and who is hardly working.
Also, it’s unprofessional to work in pajamas.
4 – You won’t be able to hear the latest gossip
If people work from home how will you know if there is harassment going on and who is having an affair with whom? Worse still, you won’t be able to complain about your own life to them, or what happened on American Idol.
Gossip build camaraderie and teams.
5 – You won’t be able to justify your own office
You’ve rented expensive office space for your workers. You want them to enjoy their great cubicles. You have a great office. If your workers work from home, you’ll be all alone apart from the temp that answers the phones. If that happens, you’ll have to get rid of the office and the great mahogany desk for which you paid that designer.
If your workers are allowed to work from home you would be throwing away all the rental money. You can’t have that. You have to make sure the cubicles have bodies in them, 2 or 3 each, in order to justify the office.
It’s not a company without an office full of busy workers.
So, if you are toying with the idea of letting your workers work from home, don’t. It will cause all sorts of issues. Maybe you should have hired some employees instead of workers.